A Letter...

Dear Kids:

You will not, I repeat, you WILL NOT make mommy insane. That being said I feel the need to go over a few things with you. Just to touch base and re-clarify things. This applies to all FOUR of you. Not just one or two of you.

When you wake up in the night and cannot find your binky/lovey, PLEASE just open your eyes. It is right there next to you where it landed when it fell out of your mouth/hand previously. No need to yell "Mommy, bimpie/lovey" over and over until I drag my sorry self out of bed only to find you laying there with your eyes CLOSED unable to locate it. (This only applies to Alexis and Kamryn).

If I tell you NO about something, this applies to you all. It does not mean that the others that were not specifically named when I said no need to race over and see if I meant that for them too. I did, believe me, I did.

I DO NOT LIKE TO HEAR THE SOUND OF MY OWN VOICE SAYING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AND OVER. (That's self-explanatory).

While I love to vacuum and find it very therapeutic for the most part, I do not need to do it in the kitchen after every meal/snack/drink/occasion you found your way in there for whatever reason.

If there is a basket of clean and folded clothes sitting in front of the dryer, LEAVE IT ALONE. There is no need to string it up and down the hall. I just try and utilize the space in that tiny laundry room as much as possible since I have laundry for 6 people to do in a laundry room the size of a small closet. So again, no need to help unfold and string up and down the hall.

It is not necessary that all of you try and squeeze onto my lap at the same time. One can sit on either side and a couple fit on my lap nicely. Trying to squeeze in only brings pain, bruises and discomfort my way and anger and frustration your way.

You can tone the jubilance down when you see daddy upon his awakening for the day. I am not generally greeted with smiles about to burst and jubilant chants when I greet you, let's make it fair here okay? Okay!

There is no need to take the magnets off the refrigerator, only to promptly discard them on the floor so that I step on them in my bare/socked feet. It's really just a nuisance.

These are only but a few things I felt the need to reiterate if you will.

I love you very much, but you will not drive me crazy. I am inventing a new ice cream flavor and I think I will have it perfected soon. I mean really, who doesn't long for a bowl of Chocolate Vodka Crunch? I need a bowl right now after the day I had...