Summer Break!

Woo hoo! Today was the last day of school! It was an early release day even, so Kori got out at 12:30 (they actually came out at 12:20 but don't tell anyone). We were home at 12:30 and Kori was in trouble and in her room by 12:35. Apparently she was irritated with Alexis (already????) and decided to put a mark on her face with a crayon. **Sigh** It might be a long summer. Other than that, the day was pretty uneventful. I had a headache all day, couldn't get the stupid thing to go away.

So now summer break is upon us. We have befriended several neighborhood kids and it seems our house is the "place to be" so there's always someone coming and going. I did frown at a couple of them that decided 8am was a good time to ring our door bell the other morning. I had Kori inform them that her father works nights and sleeps during the day and he would NOT be happy to be awakened all summer with the door bell ringing. Silly kids.

Not much going on here as of late. The past week was busy with stuff. Jason working, off-duty, school things. I worked at Kori's school on Thursday to help with Field Day. It was sunny and warm, unlike last year when it was in the 50's and raining, so they got to do all kinds of fun outdoor water stuff. Good times! Kori was soaked, but had a blast. Thank goodness I sent an extra change of clothes and a beach towel. I had a pretty cush job. I was in the cafeteria with a few other ladies passing out pink lemonade and popcorn for the snack/break period. Inside in the air conditioning, easy peasy!

My girls are outdoor junkies. All four of them. They would be outside 24/7 if they could. They have been grubby little pigs every night. My bath tub had sand bits in it on more than one occasion. Jason and I can't figure out why everytime they are in the sand box they are dumping sand on one anothers heads???? Silly kids.

So pray for my sanity. I am hoping we get into a good rhythm and I don't spend the whole summer fussing and grumbling.

I had to laugh the other day. Kori asked me several things and unfortunately it was one of those times where the answer always seemed to be no. Finally she said, "Ughhh, that's all you say is no, no no" as she stomped off down the hall. It made me giggle just a bit.

Tonight we went for ice cream with my sister and my niece Mallory. The girls were being silly and noisy in the back seat. My sister kept fussing at them and after a few times, Kori proclaimed, "Man, you always stop us from having fun". It's a tough job being a mommy somedays.

Flying By Yet Standing Still

Time that is. How can it be that it feels like my world stopped spinning last Wednesday, but yet it has now been over a week since losing my dad? Unreal.

I had an okay Mother's Day. We went to dinner on Saturday to beat the crowds. We got my mom out of the house and took her with me. My awesome hubby also bought me a new Canon Rebel digital SLR camera. It's a combo birthday/Mother's Day gift. I really love it! I am having fun taking lots of pics with it!

I started my housework on Sunday. I figured why not. Jason was home and could help mind the herd so I got some done. My house was neglected in the housework department so I got lots of stuff done. I finished it all up on Monday. Wish it would just stay clean. Oh a girl can dream.

Jason's dad and step-mom came down on Tuesday afternoon. They came to check in on me and do a little pampering, which I appreciate. We had take out for dinner which is always good. My step-MIL made a nice lunch on Wednesday and invited my mom and sister up too. It was very nice and so appreciated by us all. It was nice having extra people here to keep my mind from wandering. Jason had returned to work on Monday night so it was just me and my thoughts. Night time seems to be the worst. The kids are in bed and the house is quiet a dangerous combination.

Today I took my mom to the Social Security office to take care of that paperwork. Then we went on to the retirement office and got pension paperwork taken care of. Then we got a call from the funeral home director (an angel here on earth) saying that my dad was ready to be picked up. Great! He was going home, where he belonged. So many things done that allowed my mom to have a little more peace in her crazy sad live these days. My sister kept the little girls so that they didn't have to trollop along with us.

This afternoon we headed to the park to watch my nephew play in his final two games of the Jr. Varsity baseball season. They won both games, the girls enjoyed the fresh air, it was a good time.

So that's about it here. We are managing. I still feel so very sad, but am trying to put one foot in front of the other, as my dad would have wanted. I just miss him so very much.

Gone

I don't have the energy to post everything, but my dad, the best, sweetest, most loving dad and papa on the planet passed away tonight about 7:20.

I am so sad. Sounds silly to use that word, but it's so appropriate. I am just so very, very sad. Sad for myself, my children, my mom. While I am sad, I am not selfish enough to wish him here just for him to suffer more. He is in a much better place. The small amount of comfort I get from all of this, is knowing that he has been reunited in Heaven with my beautiful sister.

Growing Up Is For The Birds

I am 25 days out from turning 36. In my mind I am still 18-ish and my parents are still in their 40's. Not the case I know but that's how I like to think. That way I don't have to worry about my parents and their declining health and where I am going to be emotionally when they are no longer in my life here on earth.

My dad is not well. He hasn't been for a while, but it's getting worse. He has trouble eating. Has blood pressure issues. He has neuropathy and has for a while. A couple of weeks ago he went to the doctor and it was determined that really nothing else can be done for him. He has an advanced directive and it's no secret that he's never wanted any artificial interference with keeping him alive. I've known this for years, but everything in my heart screams to get him to the hospital so they can help him. Isn't that what hospitals do? They fix people.

I went Saturday and saw my dad. Took the girls too. He was up and around and told me he was "feeling a little bit better". My dad has lost about 70 pounds or so and is thinner now than I've ever seen him. that was clearly evident on Saturday. He did have a bit of an appetite on Saturday, which was good. He's been eating so little over the last couple of weeks. We have been doing their yard work, by we I mean Jason, since physically my dad can't do it anymore. He was up and around and it made things seem not quite so serious. Unfortunately on Sunday he was bad either in bed or sleeping in the recliner in the living room. Last night he started getting bad abdominal pain. He's taken some pain meds and has been in bed most of the day, except when he got up and at 6 or 7 bites of oatmeal for dinner. Everytime the phone rings I about jump out of my skin. Worried it's going to be my mom with bad news. My dad is only 65 years old, and to me that is still so young. I still have a lot of things to do in my life and I need him here with me while I am doing them. My girls need their Pop-A for a lot longer.

I am just so sad and scared and anxious and did I mention sad? I remember when my sister Margaret passed away six years ago so clearly. The absolutely horrible, gut wrenching, despair and sadness I felt. I still feel it. I am not sure I can do that again. I just don't think I can. I am a pretty strong person. Or I like to think I am. I am a 10-year melanoma survivor. I have had some surgeries here and there for various minor things. I have four kids that I tend to mostly on my own. I carried triplets to 35w 3d without bedrest or major complications. There are a lot of things I know I can do, but I don't think that this is one of them.

During stuff like this I tend to clam up. Keep things to myself. That's how I deal. How I cope. When my sister passed away Kori was only 18-months old, she didn't understand when I told her. I don't know how I'm supposed to tell my kids. I worry my girls won't remember their Pop-A. It will be up to me to keep his memory alive to them.

I know he's not gone yet. I'm hoping for a miracle, believe you me. I just feel like getting older and having to be grown up is for the birds.

Procrastinating

I have a super wonderfully craptastic project that I need to do for the PTA for Kori's school. I get to trim 1000+ labels collected during the recent label drive. They get money for each label collected so it's for a good cause but it's soooooo boring. I did 2500 in the fall. Now I have two gallon sized Ziplock bags awaiting me. I've had them since Tuesday of last week. I need to just do it and get it over with. Easier said than done.

Today I ran in the book fair at Kori's school and got her a couple of books, a book for the girls, a book for my niece Mallory and three books from Kori's teachers wish list for their class. One of the other mom's told me that one of the other mom's (did I lose you yet???) was going to be getting in contact with me. Oh goody I thought. What awesome (insert sarcasm here) project am I going to get now. Apparently she just found out she's expecting twins and wants advice from me. Would it sound strange if I told her immediately after the birth she should run like hell and never look back??? Hmmmm...better not say that. As much as I feel like it somedays, it might not sound so good.

Today as I was leaving to go to the book fair and to pick up Kori, Kamryn and I were in the middle of a tiff. It's just one of many over the last few days. The girls have been super grumpy, whiny, mean to one another, it's been FUN! NOT!! Well today Kamryn didn't like the pants I picked out for her after her nap. She was wearing a red Old Navy shirt with a flag on it. I knew they were going out to play so I didn't want anything nice to get all dirtied up so I set out some black pants. Uh, that was an no go chief. She was NOT having it. So she finally picked out her own pants. Did I mention they were purple plaid??? Oh she looked like a HOT MESS!!!

I have had a headache the last two days. I woke up with it on Monday and it hung out all day. Went to bed with it and surprise, surprise, it was here again when I woke up today. **Sigh** I have some sinus issues working so I am hoping it's sinus related. Trying not to get all paranoid in thinking its the swine flu. Kidding, but dang if that doesn't give me another germ to worry about!

Well I guess I better get to trimming. I've put it off long enough. **Sigh**

A Valuable Lesson

My sister commented on my lack of blogging as of late. So here I am! Lucky you guys huh?

Jason had a "guys weekend" with his buddies from high school. They came down in honor of the NFL Draft (zzzzzzz.....) which is really nothing more than a glorified excuse to consume alcohol and relive their "glory days". (zzzzzzz....) So it was all mom, all weekend. What else is new huh? I have determined that in my next life I am coming back as a man, preferably one like my husband who has such an awesome wife and mother to his children.

Okay, enough of that. Today I was a bonehead. There's really no other way to say it. I cooked a big breakfast for Jason's step-brother Brock (he was down for the Beer Fest, uh I mean NFL Draft get-together) and was heading back to Iowa this morning. So I cooked breakfast before he left. After that the girls got dressed and ready to go outside. Jason was going to do yardwork today before more rain moved in. I decided there were some things I wanted to piddle around with as well. So I did some stuff and then decided that there were some grassy issues in between our landscaping rocks that were bothering me. Sooooooo...I fired up the weedeater. No problem! It's not my first weed-eating rodeo. I've used one before. I should have known that God was sending me a "your wearing improper footwear signal" when a piece of the string broke off and wacked me on the top of my foot. I had to have Jason fix the spool and he pointed out my poor choice of footwear too. I assured him I was fine, that I was just doing a spot or two and all was well. Dumb move! So I'm a weed eating fool and all was going well until...I got my big toe on my left foot. Oh man it hurt soooooooooo bad! I thought I was going to pass out so I quick turned off the weedeater and set it down. Then I was afraid to look down at my foot for fear that I would see my toe missing and thrown somewhere across the yard. I managed to sneak a peek and was relieved to see it still attached with the other toes. I was not thrilled to see it looked like something out of a Freddie Krueger Nightmare on Elm Street movie scene. It's all hacked up. Not good, especially now that flip flop season is underway. So it's been cleaned and bandaged. I have learned a valuable lesson. No weedeating in flip flops! They just don't mix!

My children played outside for six hours straight today. They didn't nap. You'd thing at bedtime they'd just give up and to go sleep right? Nope. Kamryn gave up sooner than the other two. They were still goofing off. I was talking to my mom on the phone when all of a sudden it got very quiet. Further inspection of their bedroom premises revealed this:



Of course before moving them I had to grab the camera and take a picture or two. I took a picture with my camera phone and sent it to Jason at work and he commented that they looked like drunks that had passed out. Well I'm sure they felt like it too. They woke up at 9am, 6 1/2 hours outside, no naps, I'm surprise they made it as long as they did. I think it kind of resembles a crime scene photo or something similar. Silly kids!

Yesterday the girls didn't nap either. We played outside in the afternoon for several hours, and they had been out earlier in the day with the sitter (Jason and I went to a wedding) so they were pooped. I was talking to my mom on the phone and noticed Kamryn missing. I called for her and she didn't answer right away like she usually does, especially if she's doing something she's not supposed to. So I did some investigating. I found her asleep in her bed. Apparently she'd had enough and put herself to bed at about 7:45. She then slept until 9:30 this morning. Silly girl! So cute though!

Kori had a school program last week. It was a mini-musical and was very cute! Here's a picture of my sweet girl:



She was rehearsing for the musical in her room the night before the big performance. I couldn't help but giggle as I heard coming from her room, "My country disagree". So funny!

Okay, so in a nutshell that's been our life for a while. My dad is having health issues which is causing me great stress and anxiety, but I'll safe that for another day. It's bedtime!

Alive

I am here, and we are alive. The weather here has been so nice and we've been outside a lot.

Things of course are crazy busy as usual. My dad's health has been giving him issues, so there's been added stress with that.

I will update (hopefully Sunday) and add some pictures too!