What Happened???

So today was what I thought a pretty good day. Aside from me pulling our wooden blinds down from our bedroom window off the brackets and onto my head (oh man did that HURT! I have a knot to show for it and wouldn't be surprised if I didn't have a mild concussion), it was a pretty good day. Even though we woke up to freezing cold temperatures and 3-4 more inches of snow.

We met Jason's dad and step-mom for breakfast before they headed back to Iowa. That went good. Everyone ate well. Nobody cried, yelled, spilled, fought, hit, kicked, punched, or otherwise caused any negative attention to us. Success in my book!

We got back and Kori and Jason and I shoveled the drive and sidewalks...again. (Have I mentioned I am very much over Winter??? -- If I haven't, let it be noted that I am, very much so!)

The girls played nicely, always a bonus.

At about 2:30 Kori and I left to pick up Becky and we headed to our long-standing, eagerly anticipated, group date to see New Moon. Hey, better late than never huh? We had a nice time, no issues.

Got home and did some stuff. Wrestled in the floor. Gave the little girls a bath.

Kori came in to take her bath and I noticed she'd been crying. So I ask her what was up? I assumed that something must have happend with daddy or Alexis, because they were the only two that had been with her, Kamryn and Morgan were in the bathroom with me.

She told me, through her tears, that she feels like she isn't part of our family sometimes. HUH??? I asked her what made her feel that way. She told me that she feels like I favor Alexis and I don't make her feel like she's part of our family. It was all I could do to not burst into tears at this point, but I didn't want to discourage her from sharing her feelings with me if something is bothering her. I told her that as mothers we are gifted with the ability to love all of our kids equally, no matter how many we have, and that's how I am. I love each and every one of my girls exactly the same. No more for one than the others. I just was so shocked as to where all of this was coming from. I hadn't fussed at her or anything all day?????

I have been feeling a little "Cinderella-ish" lately as I've been the only one to do things around here. I have been doing everything, with little or no help from anyone else. I just had a conversation with Jason about this a few days ago, but it only helped for a day or so. Apparently my family thinks I'm their personal maid. I am tired of picking up after everyone, all the time. There is rarely a day I get to sit down and relax with all the laundry, housework, dishes, cooking, cleaning, etc. etc. etc. that I have to do. Every night I pick everything up that is left out, because it drives me crazy to leave it out. Surveying all the things I pick up 99% of them are NOT mine. They belong to Jason and the girls. So now on top of feeling like Cinderella, I also apparently am not being a very good mother.

Man this parenting thing is so hard sometimes. The days I try and schedule "family fun time" someone is grumpy or uncooperative and it ends up being "family not-so-fun time" and backfires on me. I try and make sure that I am loving an attentive to my kids even though I don't have a minute for myself, and that apparently is not working out so great for me either.

Feeling very much like flying the white flag of surrender right now.

Okay...pity post over now I guess.